Hair Despair
Hi friends! Today we will be sharing our own experience with hair despair and possibly some ways to make it better. We hope you find something that helps YOU!
If treatment for your illness causes hair loss, it can be more traumatizing for a woman than actually losing other body parts (like breasts). If you always had long hair, and then you become bald, it can make you feel not only unfeminine, but it is the final step in officially becoming a “sick person.” For guys, it’s a lot of baseball caps and being on the down-low.
Trying on wigs…
I tried to lose mine in stages, based on what my mother had told me when she lost hers. After my second chemo session, it started to ache, much like when you have a ponytail or clip in too tight. So I cut off my chest-length hair to just below my ears in a little bob. It looked cute, but I realized I was on my way to not looking like me to myself for a long time. I began researching wigs, as they say you should look for them before your hair falls out, so that it looks the most like you. I bought one and hoped for the best.>>>
After a few more days (and lots of hair coming out in the shower and on my pillow), it started to feel like little needles poking all over my head. My sweet husband got out his clippers and shaved it off about an inch or two long. However, I was only able to stand that for another day and we had to finally shave all of it off.
I was okay the first day, but it was really shocking to look in the mirror. For the next three days, I cried my eyes out. It has taken over two years to get back to where it was when I lost it, and I am just starting to feel like myself again.
I did a lot of research about hair on the various chat rooms and articles I could find online, but I couldn’t find the information I really wanted, which was what happens when it comes BACK? I was lucky to have my mom to ask, as she had already been through it, so I had some idea but ultimately my experience ended up being different than hers.
My mom took a very toxic form of chemo called Taxotere, and when her hair did come back, it was paper thin. She always had thick, wavy hair, 
and it bothered her ever after that her hair was so thin and unmanageable. Some drugs can possibly result in permanent alopecia, so be sure to ask your doctor about what you are taking and the side effects.
While I tried to wear a wig a few times, it just felt like a hair helmet (I ended up mostly wearing scarves or cool hats). My dear friend Tanya sent me a really foxy number by Raquel Welch,and it was beautiful. But my head was slippery. I have some great pictures from the Emmy’s that year of me all dressed up for my one big night out, but with the wig sitting slightly askew. Guess that means I had a good time?!
When my hair started to come back, it was like baby duck fuzz. White, curly and well, fuzzy. I completely freaked out and thought that I would look like Doc in “Back to the Future” for the rest of my days. SuperHubs told me to be patient, that my regular hair would probably come back and he happened to be right (I’ll admit it just this one time!). Eventually that baby fuzz fell out and was replaced by the curliest baby soft black hair you have ever seen. My hair before was dark brown, not black, but I was so glad to have hair it didn’t matter. I have heard from other people that their hair has come back in as a completely different color, so there is just no telling. Most people have a different texture, at least initially. Mind you, this is from my own informal survey (of everyone I could ask) and not an official scientific statement of fact.
Curls galore
Because it was like a baby’s hair, I couldn’t do much to it but put gel in it and wear cute little headbands and barrettes. As it got longer, it got curlier and frizzier. I came to realize that I truly had perfect hair before, wavy and able to be managed into a curlier or straight version, depending on my mood. With this new hair, it almost felt like Bozo the Clown curls. Ringlets, Betty Boop, Shirley Temple, whatever you want to call it. There may be damage to the follicle because of the chemo, which can cause the hair to grow at an angle, making it curlier.
Chemo can cause serious damage to the scalp’s sebaceous glands. The sebaceous system naturally produces sebum, which is the moisture in the hair follicle. When it is damaged, it makes your hair dry. It can become brittle if it is lacking moisture and has too much protein. Conversely, not enough protein can make it almost greasy.
At any rate, I was flummoxed with not only how to style it, but how to care for it with a completely different texture than I was used to having. It also started to come in very grey. Horrors! I didn’t have much grey when I lost it, but now it was coming back gangbusters. How could I color it when it was so fragile? Also, I was concerned about the cost of coloring. Anyone who has been through a serious illness is usually dealing with major medical bills. Hair coloring comes in wayyyy down the list after paying to keep the lights on
My mom bought me some product that actually calmed down the frizz, which had also worked for her in a different way, since we had different problems. We’ll share that and a few other favorites we discovered along the way…
A few recommendations:
HAIRCARE
WEN Sweet Almond Mint Cleansing Conditioner – A 5-in-1 formula, it is a shampoo, conditioner, deep conditioner, detangler and leave-in conditioner all in one product. WEN products are made with natural ingredients and contain no sodium laurel sulfates, synthetic dyes, petrochemicals, phthalates, or Triclosan. $32.00
WEN also has the Hair Care Basic Kit in Sweet Almond Mint, Lavender or Pomegranate that includes the Cleansing Conditioner, Anti-Frizz Styling Creme, a Travel Kit, and the SixThirteen Ultra Nourishing Cleansing Treatment for $29.95, or the Hair Care Deluxe Kit that includes everything in the Basic Kit, plus Replenishing Treatment Mist and Straightening Smoothing Gloss for $39.95
*I HIGHLY recommend the Sweet Almond Mint Re Moist Intensive Hair Treatment (available at Sephora for $58.00) It’s a super conditioner, and can be used as an overnight treatment. Any time I color my hair, I leave this on for a few days (pulled back in a headband or mini-ponytail). Also, when my hair was shorter, the Styling Crème was great for cute little “do’s” (available at Amazon).
Ovation Cell Therapy – Advanced Formulas
This was recommended to me by my friend Vanessa and is free of sulfates, parabens and formaldehyde. All formulas include vitamins, antioxidants, plant extracts and aromatherapy scents.They do not test on animals.
The Ovation Cell Therapy System includes 12 oz. bottles of Color Therapy Shampoo, Cell Therapy Hair Treatment, and Crème Rinse Moisturizer with a 100% 365 day money back guarantee. Sweet! This lasts an economical three months based on average use. Try the Moisture collection for damaged hair. $96.49
I am a huge fan of Alba Botanica’s soaps and lotions, so I figured I should try the shampoo as well. It has no sulfates or salts that can dry your hair. They also have several products that are gentle on colored, damaged or dry hair. I use the Natural Hawaiian Shampoo, Colorific Plumeria. Alba hair products are 100% vegetarian and are not tested on animals. They also have no artificial colors, parabens, phthalates, sodium lauryl sulfates or sodium myreth sulfates. $10.50
I have always been a fan of Burt’s Bees lip balms and lotions. Because I already knew that they were big into natural products,when I needed a new shampoo, I knew where to go.
Super Shiny Mango Shampoo – 99.7 % Natural. This is sulfate-free and super gentle. It also helps with frizz (a problem that is new to me). I am now super sensitive to smells, and this is lovely. If you buy a shampoo from the website, they will give you the matching conditioner for 50% off. The Mango shampoo has also won Prevention magazine’s Celebrate Your Beauty Award for Best Shampoo. $8.00 here >
COLOR SHAMPOO
Aveda has long made amazing products. When I started coloring my hair after chemo, I went right back to this line of pure flower and plant essences. Aveda has a green ingredient promise, where they continually strive to 
increase their use of naturally derived ingredients. That means more than 50% of the molecule comes from a plant, non-petroleum mineral or other natural source, like water. More than 90% of their essential oils and 89% of their raw herbal ingredients are certified organic.
I use the Clove shampoo for brown hair, which neutralizes or adds tones to enrich color-treated hair. I’ll be honest and say that the conditioner of this line has not been as helpful to my hair as the shampoo, however it could work perfectly on your hair. I do love the fragrance of this shampoo. Even the cap on the bottle is recycled! They also have shampoos for black, blonde and red hair. Check it out here> $31.50
COLOR
I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this product! After using the store brand hair coloring mousses and treatments, my new baby hair became damaged, even though I did the research and got the most mild versions I could find.
Then I stumbled upon eSalon. You take a picture of yourself, send it to them, and they custom mix color for you. They send it to you in this fabulous yet simple packaging, with personalized instructions. You can choose which packages you need. I started with the complete kit and just use the same pieces over and over.
They base the color on your hair type and style, current color and color you desire, history and preferences, and you get custom formulated color created specifically for your hair.
eSalon will put your order on auto-delivery within whichever timeframe you choose, and their customer service is beyond! They send a follow-up email asking how you liked the color, and if you decide that you want to make any changes like going lighter or darker, they will adjust accordingly for your next order. If you call them, the people that answer actually know what they are talking about (refreshing) and can counsel you as needed on next steps.
I cannot recommend this enough, it was a lifesaver, a convenience and a great product that I am consistently happy with every single time I use it. Check it out here! >
A professional salon product. You can ask your hairdresser if they carry or can order this product for you. They have an entire section on their website on how to care for hair after cancer treatments. Their products are free of ammonia, formaldehyde, PTD’s, plastics, sodium laurel sulphates, or parabens and contain vitamins and plant extracts, certified organic ingredients, anti-oxidants and nutrients. Check it out here> **I have not used this product myself but it comes highly recommended.**
Back to the original length.
For me, my hair finally came back to almost the way it was before it fell out. It’s a little frizzier, but I don’t complain because there isn’t a day that goes by that I am not grateful just to have it back, whatever way it is. And now, it’s as long as it was when I lost it, so I have finally come full circle. Your full circle moment is on the way, don’t give up. 🙂
Whatever your issue, we hope you find some relief from the products above. If there is something that you have already discovered that has helped you, let us know in the comments section. Good luck!
-AK
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