Expressions

Redefining Yourself

 

MNU-ICONS-EXPRESSIONS 

Today guest contributor Andrea Hawkins shares how she created a New Usual for herself after a traumatic loss. 

 Andrea

When you lose someone who is a big part of your life, it is very common to feel like you’ve lost part of yourself. I have personally experienced the loss of both of my parents in a short time. I easily fell into the role of caregiver as the child who lived nearby, first part time and in the last two years full time. It made sense, it was was full of love and purpose, and defined me. Once they were gone, the sense, purpose, passion and definition went with them and I was lost.

So many of my goals and dreams were centered around my parents. Even immediately afterwards I was focused on being the one that made sure their wishes were carried out above and beyond the required measures. I distracted myself with every detail of the estate. But eventually everything was done. The ashes were spread, the house was sold, the taxes were paid, and the property divided.

 Now what? Who was I supposed to be now? What was I supposed to do? Where should I even start?

 Here’s what I did.

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First, get real with yourself. Look in the mirror and have a heart to heart with the face you see. How are you, really? What are you happy with? What needs to change?

For me, I realized that in taking care of others so diligently, I had neglected taking care of myself. I was heavier than I’d ever been, depressed, lacking in energy and motivation, and had horrible habits. I also recognized that if I didn’t make some changes, my bad habits would probably kill me one way or another.

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Second, open your eyes. Make a list of things you want and things you don’t want. Look for solutions to get you there or to get you away from there.

In my case, I looked to a friend who had three small kids and an amazing weight loss story. I needed her results to begin to feel better about myself, so I knew I had to do what she did.

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Then take action!  That first step changed my life and slowly started to help me achieve the things I wanted and cross off the things I didn’t want. In one year, I lost 60 lbs., dropped from a size 14 to a size 2, started exercising, became a distance runner, got my energy back, reconnected with my spirituality, and found myself setting goals and dreaming again!

What I found was that I was so passionate and excited about the changes I was able to make in my own life that I was confident I could help other people make changes, too. I know there’s a part of everyone who wants to look better, feel better, be hopeful, and achieve their dreams. This passion started my business.

Now I can answer those questions about who I am now. I am a nutrition and fitness consultant. I help other people change their circumstances. I make a positive difference. I am full of passion and purpose.

And my parents would be proud of me.